Hello Goals

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Kat: [00:00:00] Hey,

this is Kat Lee.

Laura: And I'm Laura Wilkinson and this is the Hello Goals podcast.

Kat: so today we're gonna be talking about why it's important to understand ourselves when we're setting goals because Laura, I have sometimes come upon ~maybe~ the new year and I'll

think, oh, so and so is running a marathon. I think I should try that. And it's not a good idea because it doesn't fit my particular season or situation in life, and it's taken me many years.

But I finally started to realize how important it is for me to

know myself and to know what my boundaries are, know what my gifts are, know what my strengths are, so that I can

set goals that fit. Within that, and I'm curious to know if you have ever set a goal that didn't align with who you are or how you are.

Laura: Oh yes And anything involving running bad goal for me I am not a cardiovascular athlete ~Uh~ I like those quick explosive movements but I remember [00:01:00] being done with diving ~and we were,~ I was trying to find cause I it's hard for me when I'm not motivated to like Win something cause I'm super competitive to just work out To just work out and be healthy Like I don't understand that concept That's hard for me And I remember my husband was trying to help me so he would sign us up for like duathlons where we're like running and biking and I that is just That's not my love language It's nothing that I you know and I thought well it doesn't matter I'll I'll get into it And it was just like sheer torture And uh I

you know I found out that there are much more fun ways for me,

to work out than that So yes,

knowing yourself and what you love and it not not to say you can't do things that challenge you or you don't enjoy sometimes and there can be fruit from that but this was not one of those things

Kat: Well, I'm curious to know. Well, I kinda wanna press in on that because I I feel like I

talk to so many women who do wanna exercise and stay healthy and they have a hard time, you know, they just go to running or they just go to the gym or whatever.

So, what was it that you found that works [00:02:00] better for you than

duathlons?

Laura: Well, in

that season of life, um, we had like a local gym, membership and I would go and they had like these kind of dance kickboxing classes, So it wasn't like I wasn't kicking a bag or anything like that but it was like, so it was like a fun workout kind of video, but you were with people. And so in that season I, needed the accountability. I needed to be like show up. I started to get to know people in the class because I was there all the time. and So that really helped me just show up and it was. Fun. I danced a lot, like I did gymnastics, so I, there was always

ballet or dance and I did drill teams, so I, I enjoyed that a lot.

So it was like dancing and working out and you could put as much or as little effort into it as you wanted to so I could be all in and actually get a fantastic workout. And it was fun. And so it didn't

feel. Hard or heavy or any of that. And I was getting just as good of a workout. so now in this new season, uh, it, this has been a bit more of a challenge because I feel like I'm always

home with the kids so trying to find something that I enjoy with them But like we love bike rides I make them take a walk with me and we gotta walk the dog [00:03:00] So like we go walk to the park and then they can play and I can do stuff around there Um stuff more around the house which has been hard because again I'm wired to go somewhere to do my workouts Let's go Going to the gym, going to the pool, going to the place.

So working out at home, it's funny, there has always been a disconnect 'cause that's not

what I've done. So I'm slowly trying to incorporate that back.

We've got a little area in our garage that's kind of set up to help with that. Um, but again, I, I also have to understand that like I'm not training to

be an elite athlete

right now.

I am just doing this to be healthy and be active with my kids. And so part of it. My checkpoint, I

can say, can I keep up with my kids? Can I do what they're doing or what they want me to do? can I jump on the trampoline with them? Where's my back gonna go out? Like I've gotta be in shape to do that. and so that's kind of my new motivating

factor.

Not that it's perfect, not in shape right now, like still trying

to get there, but that's what kind of keeps me going at this moment.

Kat: I think that's so interesting because we are alike in a lot of ways. We have similar interests. We both love sports, kids, all that sort of stuff.[00:04:00]

I cannot do group fitness , I have no desire to be in a classroom with other people doing the same thing unless I'm competing against them.

Laura: Mm,

Kat: And I, like, I, I'd never enjoyed going on runs with people or working out with people. Like my TaeKwonDo class is as group fitnessy as I can get and I'm, my main motivation there, is to spend time with my son.

My favorite part of my TaeKwonDo class is when we spar doing, what's the

word? Like.

Laura: beating each other up.

Kat: up. Yeah, beating each other up as opposed to just doing things

together, like, I don't know why, but

it's it doesn't motivate me very much. And so I think it's so interesting how we can both be very competitive people and yet one works for you that doesn't.

Work for me. Um, and, and I just think that's so important for so many of us to recognize, because when I was in college, he would be like, you wanna go on a [00:05:00] run together? I'm like, sure. And it would just, you know, just be a little bit of a struggle. It wouldn't be my favorite thing. Or friends would say, Hey, do you wanna go do this yoga class together?

And I was like, sure. 'cause I kind of, I wanted to be with my friends and I wanted to be with people, but something about that environment was just. Challenging for me. Maybe it's my own perfectionism of, oh, I'm not flexible. I can't do this yoga pose, or I, I don't know what it is. But then if you translate it to basketball or pickleball or something, we're all kind of competing together and against one another.

That works perfectly for me.

Laura: that's funny because I can't do Like that's not I'm not wired that way Like I I remember being done with gymnastics and trying to find other sports and I try, one of 'em was

softball And I could not handle the fact that we weren't practicing enough and we weren't cause I was used to training in the gym like 35 hours a week you know as like a 13-year-old And so going once a week and doing games I was

like how are we ever supposed to be good at [00:06:00] this Like this is ridiculous And if somebody

let the team down I had a really hard time cause I'm like I put in all this effort so I couldn't ever quite turn that dial I struggled with team sports cause I've just always been an individual athlete you know But I think it's important to try those things even if we don't know if we like it or we don't think we're wired It's always good to try it to confirm whether that's your thing or not right?

Because you, you won't really

ever know until you try cause you may find out that there's something like oh you know I don't like this group class thing with TaeKwonDo but I love being here with my son and I love this sparring part of it Like I do enjoy this aspect of it So it's always good to try stuff knowing that this may not be my thing but I should give it a shot

Kat: and then as you do that, making notes of those things, whether you have to necessarily like, write it down. I don't need to write down that. I don't love group fitness. I, I know that in my soul.

But you know, just as you're discovering these things, I, think it's so important to, to remember because I don't know about you, but I have so often

had a great realization or, or [00:07:00] done something like maybe even made a meal plan

and then just completely forgot about whatever that

realization was or that meal plan that I made,

and then I find it.

Months, years later, and I was like, oh, that

was a really great idea. That was a really great realization That just got

forgotten. And I

think there's a lot of value in what I

call keeping a personal inventory just as I

recognize things about myself. I just have a note. Or I write it

down and it's not organized.

It's not pretty, but it's just all these little things that I think are important about

me, that I have recognized and that I know so that it can help me in

my future decision making. So let's talk about goals or whether that's as a mom, as a homeschooler, as

a . Mental performance coach, whatever.

What are some things that you've learned about yourself in any of those areas really that have helped you to make better decisions?

Laura: Well I I What kind of what you're just touching on [00:08:00] with like writing those things down Like I was always a journaler growing up and it It wasn't super consistent but when I wrote I wrote so much and and and sometimes that was my only outlet cause I wasn't super social person I mean I had my little group of friends but like my outlet was just writing it all out and that's how I processed things And so I could look back and see what I went through and how I figured stuff out or how I didn't figure

stuff out or what was helping me or what was hurting me And so That's something like you were saying take note of these things I think it's really important because as you write things down and you're you're processing them but you're also learning about yourself and what works for you and what doesn't and you start to find patterns you know of of how things affect you or how you can make quality changes And so I think

that's really important And something as I I talk to athletes it's kind of I mean the biggest part of making any quality changes is you first have to know yourself right You first have to know What is going on in my mind Why am I doing these things this way What is when [00:09:00] this happens over here how does that affect me over here Like we have to start to pay attention And so I think that's something that

I've learned and I try to teach others, is you have to understand how you're reacting to things What thoughts are going through your head before you can

take them captive to start changing them and transforming yourself.

Kat: that's so good. I, I have journaled on occasion, but I'm so

curious. How do you go back and read your, like, do you have a process for going back and reading your old

journals? Do you just randomly do it

Is it painful? Like, I feel like it's been painful for me to go

back and read my journals,

but I've had a heart to summarize

the things that I've learned.

I just don't exactly know what that looks like. So I'd love to hear

more about how you've done that.

Laura: Well, so kind of, two different ways. So when I would look back at my, my old stuff, like back in the day, ~um,~ it was more when I was and I would look back and say, well, What was going on? 'cause I remember I wrote something down when this

[00:10:00] happened and I could sometimes see how I worked through it or what.

My coach said to me that actually helped, or something Like that, or things that were ringing true to me at the time. Now what I I actually made a journal called The Confidence Journal that helps athletes. 'cause not, not everybody loves to write and not everybody wants to write massive amounts of like deep emotional things out on paper, but like just nailing bullet points to help you see like, What were my priorities that day or that week or going into that

competition Like what what was I aiming for What was my thought process How did I operate at the end of it And if we're capturing those on like our highest days and our lowest days and that's it we'll start to find those patterns And that's a lot easier to flip back through when you've just got some main bullet points there to kind of see those patterns and learn more about yourself without like expending all the energy or having to do it every single day And it just starts to feel like torture you know

Kat: I love that bullet points. Yes. I, I feel like

sometimes when I start journaling, I, I feel as though I need to write [00:11:00]

eloquently or for posterity. My children will read this someday. I, I know I've heard about a

thing called Morning

Pages. Have you heard of morning

Laura: No, tell me about it.

Kat: I think it's from a book called The Artist

Way. Perhaps the author's name is

Julia Cameron. But it's just the idea

that you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do

is you write three pages. I don't know if there's magic in three pages, but that's just what I think this idea is. And you just write what.

Ever comes to your head.

It's not eloquent. There doesn't need to be punctuation, there doesn't need to be anything. It's just getting your thoughts

out and getting them on paper. And I've never exactly done it and I've definitely been

held up by the idea of three pages, but I have done it on occasion where I've just written until I didn't have anything else to write. And there's something so helpful about

setting that time aside because I think we don't often. Set aside time for ourselves, maybe especially as

women, think about ourselves and to think about how we're feeling about things [00:12:00] or, or what we're going through or what we're processing or what our, what our gifts are or where we want to go.

And by kind of building that little process, I even have an app. I don't remember. Let me see if I can find. The name of it, there's a website where you can start writing. Yeah. I don't have it. And it sets, it like opens a webpage with a cursor that's blank and you set the

time. And so I usually just

Laura: That's intimidating

Kat: Oh, it's totally intimidating. It gets

Laura: Just blank page syndrome

Kat: It gets, it gets so much worse. And in every writer that I've told this to. Thinks I'm insane, but I love it. So it, it's a blank page with a timer for five minutes, and once you start typing, it starts going, here's the thing. When you stop typing, the letters start fading.

And if you stop typing for too long, it all

disappears.

Laura: Whoa

Kat: And so this sounds completely insane, but I love it because it forces me to keep thinking [00:13:00] about what I'm thinking instead of. Dallying off into

other thoughts or thinking about what I'm

Laura: It makes you keep going

Kat: it just makes me keep going because I have to.

And five minutes has

never seemed so long as when you're trying to not have the words deleted. Especially if you know you have a few good sentences in there or a good couple good realizations. ~Um,~ but that has just actually as terrifying as it sounds. There's maybe one person listening who's like, yes, that's for me.

Everybody else is like, you are

insane.

Laura: You are cracking me

up

Kat: it's called Scribbler or something. Anyway, you can,

you can probably Google it. I'll, I'll,

include a link in the show notes, but oddly been a strange thing that

has helped me to

Laura: Well, I think any way you need to process cause again we're all different personalities we're all wired different and sometimes three pages is important because the be the first page may just be the throwaway You're just getting stuff outta your head to start getting to the meat Right So I

get why maybe pushing it to that that certain ~uh~ page number or a certain amount of time like cause you're just forcing yourself to be there [00:14:00] and be present.

~Um~ and that that's what with my journal too it's like doesn't take long It could be that five minutes But you're you're focused on certain things on writing down your goals on making your priorities on uh gratitude, on certain maybe a word or virtue You wanna like live by that week or, you know, you're, you're

focused to look at like your wins or your lessons from the workout or the meet or the situation So I think it's it's that intentionality right You're big into morning routines and and creating that intentional kind of space at the beginning So I'm curious with you is it A certain amount of time to be intentional that helps you kind of get the ball moving?

and like, keep focused on your goals or or what do you think like sets

you up

best for success in that realm

Kat: ~Um,~ I think for me, you know, I do have to be intentional and honestly I need the little five minute timer. Sometimes I just '

need something to make me push through

the hard start. You know, there's, we all have.

Things that we wanna

pursue, but it's just feels really hard to get

that [00:15:00] ball rolling. And I just

sometimes need some sort of external source to help me get going. Sometimes that's

a carrot and sometimes that's a stick So sometimes it's my words disappearing. Sometimes it's putting on a playlist that really hypes me up and gets me going and gets me focused.

~Um,~ But you know, and I've learned

that I need to know the difference. Between the two, and I need to know what I need in different situations and that

sometimes I do need

that, that stick, and sometimes I need that

carrot. I feel like in this season of my life.

I have forgotten

how important music is to me.

I've always loved music. I've always wanted to be a musician. Like

growing up, I wanted to be the next

Amy Grant I don't sing, I don't have musical skill. I hack

Laura: a guitar in the background.

Kat: I do, and I hack away at it, but I will not, nobody's going to hear me

play that except my family. ~Um,~ but I love music and for some reason in this season, I listen to a lot of words.

I listen to [00:16:00] podcasts. I listen to teachings or YouTube videos. And every now and then, well, my son actually makes it a monthly like worship playlist for our family, and so he sends it out the beginning of the month and every beginning of the month I start listening to it and I'm just so inspired and invigorated.

I'm like, yes, this really inspires me to work towards, you know, whatever I feel like God is calling me to in that season. And then I get kind of caught up in learning about things or listening to podcasts, and I forget just the role that. That music plays for me and I, that's something that I've tried to pay more attention to lately, something that I've written down in my own personal inventory that in a way that nothing else can, music inspires me and helps me move towards my

goals.

~Um,~

Laura: Well I love that ~I well, I,~ and I think it's almost the difference between the knowledge and the feeling right The heart ~And I because I~ I've been the same way Like and and maybe it's just the age or the station of life, and like, you know, we're, I'm always teaching and reading and

learning and trying to help people out [00:17:00] but when my kids turn the music on you know it's like like I remember that you know and it and it it it lets you relax and ~and un like I don't I don't even know the words I'm I'm trying to but you can just ~unwind a little bit and present in a different way. And it's like you let your mind relax and you let your heart feel again a little bit you know cause I feel like sometimes I'm disassociated from my feelings in this very like knowledge based or area of life right now And so it's it's good to disconnect from that and let our heart just like lead the way

Kat: that's so true. I think I heard

an artist named Bethany Dillon, and I don't know if she was quoting somebody or if this, these are her own words, but she said, music reminds us of a place we've never been. I loved that because it's so true and, and it does remind me also places I've been.

I remember when I was maybe 13, Amy Grant had an album called Lead Me on that

came out sometime around then and we went on a vacation

to Big Bend. It's a state park in Texas and the entire week long vacation, that is The [00:18:00] album that I listened to on repeat. Only that album I listened

to every nuance,

every instrument I read the

lyric book. That is what I listened to. And so when that album comes on,

now I am in Big Bend I am on

vacation. I'm 13 years old again. And there is something about music that does that for us, whether it's

Laura: Mm-hmm.

Kat: hypes us

up for a workout or music that helps us when we write. When I was writing my

book, I listened to, um, Bach Cello Suites by Yo-Yo Ma.

And whenever that comes on now. I hear it and I'm like, you know, it's almost like Pavlov's dog now. I'm like, I need to start typing. I need to

start writing

Laura: Well you've probably heard about about those elderly people too who were like almost catatonic But then when like music from their childhood would come on they would get up and start dancing and they would come to

life in this different way, like

music has a way of getting to Yeah that deep dark place Bringing up those memories making you come alive in a different way That's super

Kat: Mm-hmm.

Laura: Super cool

Kat: And I just love [00:19:00] knowing these things about ourselves and I honestly, I probably need to make a playlist for myself about the songs that really get me motivated, ~um,~ in different ways. Let me just press it on that one more, one more bit. I'm curious, do you have a song that you love to play when you need to work on something?

Whether it's working out, whether it's working, whatever it might be.

Do you have a

go-to

Laura: I I've had different playlists that I've made for like working out and for different seasons but like again I've, kind of gotten out of that in the last year or so just being home and trying to like be with the kids and and working and I've, I've noticed that

like I almost have to have it quiet while I'm writing emails and things like that cause I just get distracted and I'll just like kind of slowly fade over here and not be

focused on what I need to do. So.

I've actually had a lot more quiet going on, um, in those moments. But, um, I it was really funny. We were playing Chicago of all things in the car last night on our way home from dinner.

We, we went out 'cause

spring breaks, we went out, uh, with the family and we were listening to Chicago and I loved that my kids knew the words to the [00:20:00] song. We were laughing so

hard, we're like, our kids are gonna be eighties children even though it's like 2025 Um but I don't know I mean I really I love. So much And I love that my kids are discovering like who they like and what

they're

really

into Like one of my daughters likes Forest Frank a lot and so we've been listening to that and

Well we just um we just went to Toby Mack the other night and Crowder was there and that was really fun.

Took all the kids to that So I mean I love I love so much different stuff but uh you know, lyrics are important, but that Yeah. How it

catches your soul is that really special thing, like you

Kat: Mm-hmm.

Laura: So Kat, do you have a goal of this in this season of your life? And like what is it taking for you to

push toward that goal in this time.

Kat: So a current goal of mine is to pickleball, as I've mentioned occasionally. And I really wanna reach a level, like there's different number levels in pickleball, and one of them is to be a 4.5. And I'm, I'm a 4.3. I think it's a [00:21:00] little generous on that, but we'll, we'll, we'll just go with it. I like

the number. ~Um,~ and ~I have definitely.~ It's been a struggle because even though it sounds like a small difference, it's, it's really kind of a big one. And I think a

few things that I've had to learn about myself in this process of trying to reach this goal is that So, much of me reaching this goal isn't

about my skill necessarily.

It's really

about my confidence And so I

have sadly learned that I am very not confident in my own. Abilities in a sense. I am like, to a degree I

am, but I have been playing a lot with people who, what you do

mixed doubles a lot in pickleball. And so I'll play with a friend of mine who is very

good and then and and a girl, and then two guys.

And so technically I'm probably going to be the weaker player. If the girl is better than me, then we're playing with two guys, probably. I'm gonna be the weaker player. And I feel like over the past few months , [00:22:00] I've grown accustomed to

losing. It's, you know, in one sense I've gotten better because I'm a learning, you know, higher level skills and that sort of thing.

But in another sense, I just walk onto the court sort of assuming that I'm going to. Lose because that's happened a lot. I don't always lose, but you know, I, I do. And I've learned that believing in myself is something that I need to be better at. I've learned that I don't do that very well. You know, I can theoretically believe in myself and say, oh, yeah, I can do that.

But then when it gets down to the really hard part, I question myself. That's definitely something I've identified that I want to work on and that I need to be better at. And at the same time, I feel like I've learned that I am willing to do that. Like I'm learning that I'm willing to walk into failure, quote unquote, to [00:23:00] push through that so I can come out the other side.

So. There's a plus and a minus to both. I think anytime you're pursuing a goal, it's never a straight line. There's always you hit a peak and then a valley, and then

Laura: Mm-hmm

Kat: and then another valley. So it's been helpful for me though to journal about that process and to recognize how much of me reaching this goal is going to be mental and just learning to believe in myself.

Laura: Isn't that amazing Like Yeah. And that's kind of like the Olympics like when you look at the epitome of like the all the sports you know and it's like everybody has this amazing skill level when you're at the top but it's like who stays on up here can make all the difference right between silver and gold or um you know winning and losing in in that sense So it is Funny how how these just these little shifts that you make in your brain can make huge differences on the court or in the pool Yeah, for sure I love that

Kat: What about you? What's a goal that you've been working [00:24:00] towards and what's something that you've learned about yourself?

Laura: ~Um~ you know it was really neat that we were talking to Chrystal cause I mean you know me and I'm I'm homeschooling the kids and try to work outta the house and that's, that's been hard in different ways ~Um~ one just just the mom stuff just being a mom and always having mom guilt and that you're never doing the right things Like that's, that's

always there ~Um~ But it's I've been struggling a lot because I am very highly motivated and ~uh you know ~tend to be an overachiever and a perfectionist and all of these things and I have made my kids a priority and my business is taking a back seat. And that's really hard for me because my MO is like, I can see this thing that I can do really well, and I can grow it and I can do all these amazing things with it,

it's not my priority.

and I'm having to put it to the side, and that is, While I know it's the right thing that I need to be doing in this season, it's really, really, hard for me. And so I, I've been recognizing that lately, that I see, like That's why I get so angry sometimes or I get really frustrated with the kids. because I'm not [00:25:00] here doing this thing like on my computer, or reaching out or doing marketing or whatever it is creating a course you know that I should be doing these things but yet I've chosen to put that on the back burner so that I can prioritize my children and being fully present with them at the season of our lives. And that's, That's a big struggle for me because when I was an athlete, I could be all in, it was just me and I was there, and I could do that, you know, like full time. And so

Laura: Learning

those boundaries and, and and hearing Chrystal say

it's okay, like it's gonna be different every season and every day, even day to day. Like you may win at this and fail, at this, but like failure's part of it. Or you may.

see that, Man, my house looks really good, but I wasn't fully present here today, or

I was great, a great mom today, but I did not get that email written, you know? And so

that was just again, reassuring

It. I'm not the only one going through this stuff, that that other people are there too, you know? And she's so wise and she has been through and learned so much.

Like hearing that from someone

of that magnitude is just really confirming. To me that

like, [00:26:00] okay, I can take a deep breath Like this is okay right now. I, ~it can be fru. ~It's okay to be frustrated and it's okay to fail

sometimes. But to recognize that

and to, to understand what my priorities that I I'm actually

walking through and making the right things, the priorities in this season. Um, and so it's, it's okay to have the frustration, but it is

still like not my top priority.

So kind of learning to balance that a little bit. But then, okay. Well just because it's not my top priority doesn't mean I can.

just. Put it to the wayside and and ignore it completely. You know what I mean? I still need to work on it and make

intentional time for it. So again, being very intentional with what I'm

doing and what my goals for each day are like I'm trying to go week by week right now and really kind of mapping out, okay, what is a kid heavy day where we have a lot of activities for them that need to be done? What is a work heavy

day where. they're gonna have

to kind of learn to have some alone time and and

just keep themselves busy while.

mommy is, you know, doing her thing. so that's Something I'm working on right now.

That's been um, really good. and It was just clarifying,

hearing Chrystal talk about [00:27:00] that, um, you know, in our last episode. Yeah. How, how about you, like, are you in a season like that? Or what, what is your walk right now like,

Kat: Well, I totally relate to that, and I think that's something that everybody listening to

can relate to because whenever we start to set even one goal, then we might think about another area. And once we even think about that area, then we wanna be awesome at that area. And I think that's such a tendency for all of us to say, I'm going to, be a great mom today.

Which is also hard because it is such a subjective thing rather than an Objective thing that we can track. But you know,

being able to say that in this season I'm focusing on X and I'm keeping y. Going, but I'm not focusing on It

is hard.

You know, you want, especially if we are goal oriented people, we wanna go all [00:28:00] in on all the things, but we just can't.

And that could even be part of. This process of discovering us, of keeping a personal inventory where we write down and say, in this season I am

focusing on X and Y is not my priority, but I

will do X, Y, and Z to keep going and just reminding ourselves of what our priority is so that. You know, I think the enemy wants to make us feel guilty.

He wants us to make us do too much and wear ourselves out and feel like we're failures. You know, just the other day I was just not having a great day and I was sitting on this little couch behind me and I just thought, wow, I'm really lame at everything. You know, a couple days later I recognize that I'm not, but we all have those moments in those days when we think there is nothing that I could do.

That's right. This is terrible because we wanna do everything so well that anything less than is so incredibly discouraging. So it's really good to hear you say, [00:29:00] in this season I'm focusing on this and it's a struggle because I also wanna focus on this, but I can't. And I think that is. I think it's a skill

we can all exercise

Laura: Well and I think it was important for me to realize why I was getting so frustrated with my kids It had nothing to do with my kids It was because I was trying to be this thing in, in this aspect, and that was not where my focus should have been And so understanding that there there are days where there are times where that does need to be my focus but I also make that very clear to my children when that time is And they're they're actually been really good about it. 'cause we we try to plan it out and again like be intentional on setting up the day or the week of like I have a cool little sign on my um window of my study a new study we've set up here that says like you know session in progress And they know like they can't even knock on the door unless it's like 9 1 1 emergency There will be no knocking on the door staring in the window at me you know Um but if it says Welcome come on in They're they're allowed to to come on in and say hi [00:30:00] So it it's just it's recognizing those things in us too.

Because like you said we'll we'll try to do it all perfectly and we'll burn ourselves out.

but understanding um Certain priorities and and also like this might be why I'm so angry in this other aspect of my life which has nothing to do with that aspect It's coming from over here but like learning how to connect those dots and so okay, we need to figure out how to smooth the sails a little bit so that I'm not so flustered or so angry all the time or so burnout all the time And

just feeling awful about

everything.

'cause we're not lame at everything. We have to have to be intentional.

Kat: I, I heard a quote once that said, we're always gonna disappoint someone. We just need to disappoint the

right people.

And I think that's actually so freeing to think about, you know, 'cause I'm gonna disappoint somebody. Somebody's not gonna like something that I'm

doing, but I need to know, I need to make that decision.

Who am I going to disappoint? Or you can obviously flip that around, who am I

going to And I think it's also helpful to [00:31:00] recognize. What season of life am I in you and, well, I'm about to be in a very different

season of life than you're in, and so

my time and my opportunities to focus on things are gonna be way different than what yours are in your season. And I was where you are a few years ago and other people I know were in the season that I'm at

and, and when we can recognize.

That and kind of zoom out that we have seasons and it's different for

everybody in different seasons. Then it can also be freeing to be able to

say, okay, is what I'm doing and this is what I'm not doing.

There will be a season for that later on,

but this isn't it.

Laura: Well, I remember the first time

I heard about seasons was such a gift because I had two two year olds and a newborn and I remember spending 50 of our time in the half bath downstairs because I had two kids learning how to potty train So I'm like nursing my baby while wiping a rear end with my other hand I was like this sanitary [00:32:00] Is this my life Now What have I done Like I just was overwhelmed like this is going to be the rest of my life Like what have I chosen And then I heard somebody talk about these it won't always be like that And I was like Really it won't like I for some reason had no concept that this was not the rest of my life you know So understanding that yes it only lasts a little while and it will be over and then 10 years down the road you're like man if all I had to do was wipe a kid's rear end

and feed somebody things would be a lot easier So yeah perspective is a gift

Kat: It is such a gift, and I, I, I've also found that not only is it important to know our season, but then also our situation. Because, you know, when my kids were little, we don't have family nearby. And so my, I had one pre, I had the same season as. Another friend

who had family in town, but I had a different situation so it worked out really well for us that my husband worked from home, so it

allowed me to leave while the kids

were napping [00:33:00] and gave me some flexibility and people would say, oh, it's So great for you that your husband works from home.

And I'm like, it totally is. And then I'd say, it's great for you that you have family in town that can watch your

kids for a date night. We have different, we might all be in the same season, but we have different situations. So

sometimes we can look at other people and think, well, they're in the same season that I am, and they can do it.

Why can't I do this?

Well, and that's when I think we need to look at our, our situation and give ourselves some grace because nobody is in the

exact same situation, in the exact

same season. So

Laura: and it's how we look at those situations too, right? like, I I was just, of course, comparing myself to

another mom who always has activities going on for her kids. They're always going on vacations, they're always doing this, and like,

we can't do that in this season of our life We can't take a bunch of vacations you know we can't Can't always be doing all the things And and sometimes I get frustrated by that because I you know I I want to give my kids all the things right But then I can look at the good side of okay well we [00:34:00] can't do that but like man I get to be right here present with them and we can still go hang out and like you know play volleyball in the park Or we can go my son loves to just take tree branches and march around with them and hit stuff you know with them and and like there's just It it's okay to be simple and to just live in that moment and and fully embrace where you are and be grateful for that Right Even though it maybe

isn't what somebody else has or what they're doing it doesn't mean this isn't great too in its own right You know what I mean I

Kat: so good. And I think this whole discussion that we've had with our episode with Chrystal and then talking about it today, just so encourage everybody listening, take some time, grab Chrystal's Journal 100 days to

discovering the gift of you

and work through it.

Simple questions. Easy to do. It's actually really fun to work through. Um, and just taking that time, because we so often, like I said, we don't take

the time to think about ourselves as much as we need to in a

productive way. We might think about ourselves and be anxious and think about ourselves and worry and think about

[00:35:00] ourselves and be hard on ourselves.

But we need to take more time to think

about how God made us, who we are in

Him, so that our anchor is in a good spot, so that as we set

goals and pursue goals, they're based on a really

solid foundation.

Laura: Hmm. Spot on.

Kat: All right, so that's my challenge. For everybody listening, grab Chrystal's journal, take some personality tests, start your own personal inventory, note in your

notes app, and

start learning about yourself

All right, well, thanks for joining us

today on this episode of the Hello Goals podcast, and I hope that you will reach your goals so that you can be our next guest on the next episode of the Hello Goals podcast.